For Nicki

I feel like I am always in a constant state of amazement at life, either how it seems to come at you all at once or how the simple things change you.

It's some weird dichotomy. I was just in Canada and my friend asked me if I had recovered from my time at YWAM. I asked back, "do you ever?" Parts of me are still reeling from the different views of God I heard. Views that sometimes seem so very different from mine. I feel the older I get the more molds of how I viewed God, are broken. I used to see things somewhat black and white (I won't claim to always see life as such, but for a few things I did), but I find God to be very open to our lives. To our lives be extremely messy, stupid, painful, accepting and downright colorful. Thank God.

I also find myself less and less interested in Church. I have nothing against it, really. I would just rather have a glass of wine with friends, talk about life and where Jesus is in it. He is hard to find at times. Sneaky fella.

“The most often repeated commandment in the Bible is 'Do not fear.' It's in there over two hundred times. That means a couple of things, if you think about it. It means we are going to be afraid, and it means we shouldn't let fear boss us around. Before I realized we were supposed to fight fear, I thought of fear as a subtle suggestion in our subconscious designed to keep us safe, or more important, keep us from getting humiliated. And I guess it serves that purpose. But fear isn't only a guide to keep us safe; it's also a manipulative emotion that can trick us into living a boring life.”
Donald Miller

My two most consistent prayers in life, though often said in my heart and not aloud, are to love well and to live a life with community (to live life with others, however messy it gets).