back in Native America, finally!

Home. One word that encompasses more words, thoughts, and stories than we are capable of producing. For me it means, family, the joy of having all my books in one place, adored pets, my bed, my own bathroom, falling asleep while watching something on TV, comfort/rest, clothes I have forgotten about; like re-reading an old favorite and finding something new you didn't notice before.

Was met at the airport by my friend Nichole. Thanks friend!

Coming home after a long absence gives you new eyes. You see the things that you love about it and not the stuff that makes you mad. I have not gotten annoyed with all the construction around town, although it is day 1, we'll see how long that lasts.

Amazing how a place affects a person. A reason why I loved my major in college: geography. The study of place and people. The reasons a person refuses to move, even though the place they call home is a disaster; so interesting.

One thing I was marveling about yesterday was Country music. I'm not very country, but I do love being from Oklahoma. I am a city girl, if we can consider Tulsa a city. People from New York City would scoff at Tulsa. Anyway, I was thinking about how my childhood is marked by a constant country tune on. Good ole Faith, Garth, George, Tim, Reba and Martina; the 90s of country music. I used to have an extra large shirt with Waynonna Judd's face on it. Those pictures are only to be seen by a select few (my parents and I). Or how 'bout the time I made my friend do a lip sync to Shania Twain instead of Blink 182? Brutal. I hope that didn't hurt us too much, socially, in middle school; sorry Adrienne!

SO I am home, yes, in Tulsa. If you would like to hang out, get a coffee, eat food, see a movie, or be in the same air conditioned room, please call me. I am only here for five weeks. I jump onto a plane September 4th, for another New Zealand spring. Oh life's joys! If you seem to have lost my number, e-mail me ( jhaggard19@gmail.com ) and I will get that to you!

Stay cool America...

my newest update.

check this out.

Friends are cool.

I get by with a little help from my friends.

John Lennon

Friends are like a good, warm cup of coffee on a chilly day. Friends define a place. My favorite spots in this world are defined as such because of the memories I made with my beloved friends. They are what makes life worth living, mostly.

They also come and go like the changing of seasons. The flowers grow (and in Oklahoma quickly die as Summer and heat approaches), and the leaves change colors. My passion is to completely enjoy those times, to be whole heartedly there.

Donald Miller puts it best, " My hope is your story will be about changing, about getting something beautiful born inside of you, about learning to love a woman or a man, about learning to love a child, about moving yourself around water, around mountains, around friends, about learning to love others more than we love ourselves, about learning oneness as a way of understanding God. We get one story, you and I, and one story alone."

strong coffee warming up my fingers.

"Rubble is the ground on which our deepest friendships are built."

-Anne Lamott

I got to visit the land where the incredible treaty between the native Indigenous people (Maori) and the British was signed. The Treaty of Waitangi brought two groups/cultures of people and made them one under God. It was and still is a covenant. The story of New Zealand is the most God willed story I have ever heard. If you don't know it or their national anthem, then stop what you are doing and check it out. The anthem is called, "God defend New Zealand."

On a different note, don't you just love a good book that inspires you to dream, imagine, and create? I just finished Donald Miller's, "Through Painted Desert's" and am currently reading Anne Lamott's, "Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith." These books, to me, are like a song that expresses my heart, my feelings, or thoughts in that incredible way, when my own words are at a loss.

I have been thinking a lot about life. What does it look like for everyone and also what do I desire it to look like, because ultimately it is me who chooses the path I walk (In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps. Proverbs 16:9)? I have come to really realize that everyone's life knowing Jesus is as different as you are from me, thankfully. Some desire a life of almost monk-ness, to make up a word, and some a life of simplicity, others adventure, and so on. I am thinking I fit less in the monk category of life and more in the simple, adventure kind. While some people dream of feeding children in Africa, having a good paying job, getting a Ph.D. or living in a hut in South America. I tend to dream of living out of a van in North America, smiling at the person walking down the street, and enjoying the life's miracles. I dream of loving my friends and family with a softer heart. Of serving the people I work with, and always being awed by the sunset. I long to enjoy life in the moment.
It is when I am in awe that I shrug off the worry of not being holy enough, or worthy enough. Beauty (the beach, a mountain, Castle Hill, a starry night) brings me back to the Glory of God, to the simple truth of the Faith I fight for...that He loves me.

My time here in Auckland, this past month, has shown me something which brings me deep sadness. Pop culture has ruined Non American's perception of Americans. It truly has. I am finding myself battling against this idea of Americans being an egotistic, "we are better than everyone," outspoken, and close minded people. The second I talk, I reveal my place of origin and it is like hiking up a sick mountain or swimming upstream to help people realize I am not that. I sometimes overcompensate by being quiet, humble, and open.