On a bunk bed in Koh Toa, Thailand

Fat Tires and Cigarettes

"...most of the time, all you have is the moment, and the imperfect love of the people around you."

--Anne Lamott

There have been few times in my life where God felt near, and even fewer (possibly never) when He was tangible, at least in how I expected He would feel. I don't know why, but I have always pictured me hand in hand with Jesus walking along the ocean on a quiet beach. Probably some sort of Christian commercialism. I think I saw it on a bookmark from Mardel. That has never happened, though if Heaven is close to a beach...I won't complain.

This is what I have learned in my short 25 years of knowing everything (which to the teens out there who haven't learned, it means you actually know nothing). God does not touch us often, in the dreamy sense, but He does use friends and family to lift our Spirits or bring a small glimmer of hope. A glimmer is all you need most days. Humanity has quite the knack for survival.  

When we feel so beaten and defeated, and in the moment you feel life can't get worse (you try and remind yourself of others stories of pain, though comparing gets us nowhere). God gives you a chin up. A friend sends a text reminding you what you mean to them, someone buys you a cup of coffee or whatever glimpse of love is needed. It is a funny dichotomy. A God so able, mostly chooses to let humanity choose to love each other. That's weird and oh so sweet at the same time.

It is good to remember to ask for encouragement. There is no shame in that. 

And to end this blog, another word from Annie...

"Hope is not about proving anything. It’s about choosing to believe this one thing: that love is bigger than any grim, bleak shit anyone can throw at us."

GOD is love, so that's a good word. 

*Sorry for the use of language.

The sun has set pink and blue

The good times are just memories now

I have to let go somehow

Our paths have separated to something new

I've struck out on my own 

To an adventure unknown

I will never forget

I will never regret

But it's time to move on

I know I have to say goodbye

But no matter how hard I try I can't deny it

No I can't fight it

Even through all the hurt

Even through all the pain 

I'm trustin in your name

The sun will rise again

Friends will go but they will always come

and I know that I will never be alone 

You are the only one I can rely on